Limericks for Christmas!

I just opened an e-mail one of our patrons sent me yesterday. It was a new website she'd discovered -- A limerick dictionary! Now some of you may be thinking that by 'limerick dictionary' I mean a dictionary to tell you what various limericks mean - if that is what you're thinking just kick that thought right out.

It's real name is the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form. Instead of defining a word with a run-of-the-mill definition, anyone can define any word they want, however they want, as long as it is in limerick from. Now this may seem a bit out of season, but I promise I'm not getting Christmas and St. Patrick's Day mixed up. Maybe I'll do another limerick article in March, but that gives each of you time to submit a limerick to the website before then. If you come up with a limerick post it and the word you are defining as a comment to this blog article and we'll feature some of them in a March article. (Please be aware that they are currently only accepting limerick definitions for words aa- through co-.)

For those of you who need to be reminded how to construct your limerick, it has five lines. Lines one, two and five should rhyme and lines three and four should rhyme. Have fun with this, see what you can come up with and share it with us!

The dictionary already has more than forty-seven thousand limericks, and that's just for words aa- through co-! There are really some good ones that people have submitted.

Here's a few fun limericks I found this morning:

Christmas by Charles Silliman (Charles Silliman)

By a star, the three wise men were led.

But they found, as they stood at His bed,

That the one brightest light

On that first Christmas night

Was the glow from the Son of God's head.

Christmas tree by mike scholtes (mike scholtes)

A Christmas tree's never more fun

Than when racers are eager to run.

It's a quarter-mile drag,

And instead of a flag,

Tiers of lights start the cars like a gun.

Christmas bells, Christmas Bells by SheilaB (Sheila B. Blume)

The Christmas bells toll Christmas Eve,

And in Longfellow's poem, I believe,

But they're also the flowers

That grow in bright showers

In Melbourne, or so I perceive.

Christmas bells are colorful flowers of the genus Blandfordia, Australian perennials that flower at Christmas time, church bells ringing during the Christmas season, and the name of a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–1882), written during, and about, the U.S. Civil War.

Christmas stocking by SheilaB (Sheila B. Blume)

When I look at my silk Christmas stocking,

Fond memories often come knocking.

It was hung Christmas Eve,

And next day I'd receive

Something wonderful, sexy and shocking!

Christmas stockings are hung next to the fireplace on Christmas Eve, and filled with gifts during the night by either Santa Claus or one of his domestic helpers. It is usually made of wool, cotton, or felt, however, and filled with toys and sweets.

bough by Richard Stehr (Richard Campbell Stehr)

Jury duty at Christmastime? Heck!

The season will now be a wreck.

I will have boughs of holly,

But won't be too jolly

With just halls of justice to deck.

besotted by Tim Alborn

Roast beast by the Grinch was allotted

To Whos, who responded, besotted,

With shouts and applause,

While the heart of this Claus

Grew three sizes—and burst his carotid.

WPSI

Advent calendar by Jacqui Brown (Jacqueline Brown)

Each year towards the end of November,

A calendar meant for December

Appeared on the wall

Of my family's front hall—

It's something I'll always remember.

In a snow scene were cut twenty-four

Tiny windows, each opening a door

To a pictured surprise

For a youngster's bright eyes

To linger upon and explore.



As I think about Advent this year

And the calendar I once held dear,

I just know Christmas Eve

I will once more believe

It's the jingle of sleighbells I hear!



In the Christian church, Advent is the season that leads up to Christmas, beginning on the fourth Sunday before Christmas Day. In our family, the Advent calendar always heralded the arrival of the Christmas season. In a countdown to the holiday, we children took turns opening the 24 windows, one for each day from 1 December to Christmas Eve. Behind each of these windows was a tiny picture of a Christmas surprise. Some Advent calendars have doors that conceal small toys or candies.

Christmastide by Andrew Burnet (Andrew Burnet)

We've got thousands of units to shift,

So we won't be encouraging thrift.

Come, be generous, friend:

Time to spend, spend, spend, spend!

Christmastide—what a wonderful gift!

afeard, afeared by Carol June Hooker (Carol June Hooker)

The tot kicked and screamed, was afeard

Of Santa's enormous white beard.

Santa said, "I'm your dad—

Don't be scared, don't be sad."

But the toddler cried, "Daddy, you're weird!"

Afeard is an alternate spelling for afeared or afraid. This is based on an actual, real-life holiday incident with the dialog exactly as it was spoken at that time by my husband and daughter.

assembly by Chris J. Strolin and Workshop

It's the night before Christmas; I'm tired!

Yet with eight cups of coffee, I'm wired.

In the depths of despair,

Like all parents, I swear:

"Damn that Claus — 'Some assembly required'!"

afoot by Chris Doyle (Chris Doyle)

"Ho, Watson! The game is afoot!"

Shouted Holmes as he noticed the soot.

Then he walked 'cross the floor

From the hearth through the door

To a tree where the toys had been put.

answer by Chris J. Strolin

I asked Comet and Dasher and Dancer,

And Blitzen and Vixen and Prancer:

"How the hell can you fly?"

But I heard no reply:

Not a one of them gave me an answer.

bye-bye by speedysnail (Rory Ewins)

Well, the reindeer are waiting to fly...

Ho ho ho, little darling, don't cry.

So, goodbye—I should leave.

See you next Christmas Eve.

Please let go of my sleeve, dear. Bye-bye.

Bailey, George by Chris J. Strolin

Two lessons were learned from the strife

That was faced by George Bailey and wife.

One: an angel earns wings

Every time a bell rings,

And then two: it's a wonderful life.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BEDFORD FALLS!!

ablaze, aflame by Jacqui Brown (Jacqueline Brown)

All the fireplace logs were ablaze

As poor Santa emerged from the haze.

With his whiskers aflame,

He was sorry he came,

And he sighed, "It's been one of those days!"

berry by Jacqui Brown (Jacqueline Brown)

In creating my Christmas decor,

I string cranberry garlands galore.

I use holly with berries

As red as ripe cherries,

And mistletoe hangs o'er the door.

Bethlehem by Jacqui Brown (Jacqueline Brown)

It was there that the young couple sought

Out a place for a child to be brought

Into this world of sadness

To bring peace and gladness.

In Bethlehem wonders were wrought.

bûche de Noël by Jacqui Brown (Jacqueline Brown)

A bûche de Noël is a cake

That my mother from Paris would bake

To be served Christmas Day

At our family buffet.

Yes, a yule log is what she would make.

(BOOSH duh noh-EHL) Literally translated as "yule log," this traditional French Christmas cake is shaped and decorated to look like just that. It's made of a sheet of génoise that is spread with mocha or chocolate buttercream, rolled into a log shape, and frosted with more buttercream. The confection is ridged to resemble the bark of a log, and sometimes garnished with both meringue "mushrooms" and "moss" made from chopped pistachio nuts.

Advent wreath, Advent ring, Advent crown by Jacqui Brown (Jacqueline Brown)

Four tall candles, a circle of pine

Are arranged where we gather to dine.

Our Advent wreath's light

Warms the chill winter night

As it welcomes the Christ child divine.

The origins of the Advent wreath are found in the folk practices of the pre-Christian Germanic peoples who, during the cold December darkness of Eastern Europe, gathered wreaths of evergreen and lighted fires as signs of hope in a coming spring and renewed light. Christians kept these popular traditions alive, and by the 16th century Catholics and Protestants throughout Germany used these symbols to celebrate their Advent hope in Christ, the everlasting light. From Germany the use of the Advent wreath spread to other parts of the Christian world. Traditionally, the wreath is made of four candles in a circle of evergreens. Three candles are violet and the fourth is rose, but four white candles or four violet candles can also be used. Each day, the candles are lighted, perhaps before the evening meal—one candle the first week, and then another each succeeding week until 25 December. A short prayer may accompany the lighting.



Some churches instead use an Advent ring or crown, which consists of four candles. These candles vary in color according to the tradition—purple, royal or bright blue, rose or pink—arranged in a circle with a single white candle in the center.

balsam fir by Jacqui Brown (Jacqueline Brown)

Mom says Christmas trees have to be live,

So we'll set out one morning at five

And, to satisfy her,

Cut a fine balsam fir,

Tie it fast to the car top, and drive.

Balsam fir is one of the most popular Christmas trees because of its wonderful evergreen fragrance.

Christmastime by Doug Smeath (Doug Smeath)

The most wonderful time of the year,

All a-bustle with love, joy and cheer?

All's a-bustle, that's true —

There's so damn much to do!

Christmastime is a pain in the rear.

For the record, the author loves Christmastime.

Elizabeth